The intention of this blog is just to share with you the way God works in my everyday life. I hope you enjoy!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010


It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all...............

I don't think I agree with that.

This morning, Derrick Donovan Willis, two months, went to be with the Lord.

I have wanted to be a mother all of my life. You don't have to actually have children to have a mother's heart, to relate to her pain, to know her loss. I have longed for a child. I have felt them in my arms. Dreamed of carrying them inside me. I feel a loss at never experiencing having a child. But, many times I have prayed to the Lord. I have told him that if He gave me a child that I could not keep for my lifetime, then I didn't want one at all.

Your children are not supposed to go before you. At ages 27 and 29, George and I helped plan the funeral of my mother-in-love. I felt that we were too young to be experiencing that. Too young to know what goes into those plans. Too young to think of what outfit to put on her. Too young to think of where she should be buried. Too young to think of who should sing and who should officiate. Too young to collect pall bearers.

Derrick is 29 and Shara is 28, and here they face planning the funeral of their baby. They are too young to dress that baby to lay in his casket. Too young to purchase a final resting spot. Too young........

This breaks my heart. I think about the one time I saw Donovan, on Christmas Eve. He grunted and squirmed, gave those little toothless, gassy smiles. His little body was warm against mine. I can still see his face scrunching as he started to get hungry and tried to muster up a cry to his momma.

Lord, I know this is all a part of your plan. But, Lord, I pray that in time they will see this too. Lord, I pray that they will only search for you in this time of loss. My heart breaks for them.

The good Lord giveth and the good Lord taketh away.................

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Sunday, Sunday

Well, as you can tell by the title of this post, today is Sunday. I love Sunday. I always have. Sunday is the Lord's day. It is a time of worship, tradition, service, friendship, family, love, joking, rest, lunch, reverence, praise, fun, dressing up, being at your best, not afraid to admit your worst, acceptance, healing, laughing, crying, singing, reading, listening, feasting, learning, doing, commiting, believing, reaching out, smiling, hugging, shaking hands, celebrating.

I love that peace that comes with Sunday. I just have that warm fuzzy feeling on Sundays. I feel like I have not only dined with so, so many of the people I love most in this world, but I have communed with the Master Himself. Oh, God how I love you! I'm desperate for You, I'm lost without You!

I love the feeling of acceptance at church. I love feeling like these people-these brothers and sisters-are glad to see me. I love when they say, "Hi, Erin," as if they are glad to see me. I love when they shake my hand or hug my neck. I love those little old ladies who make you feel as though you have been blessed with many grandmothers. I love how my pastor is humble and a willing servant of God who desires to be solely and completely in the will of God. How he desires that he not been seen at all, but Christ alone. I love how our minister of music pauses in his prayers, in awe of God in reverence of His holy presence. I love how my Sunday School teacher teases all of us, and makes us all feel at ease, and all a part of the group.

I love seeing new people walk through the door. I love seeing the light in the eyes of a new believer and the weightlessness as they enter the doors hungry for the Word and the fellowship. I love seeing those faithful deacons, trustees, and other pillars of the church sitting on the back row sharing their inside jokes as they wait to lift the offering. I love the little girls in their frilly little dresses and sweet smiles. They little boys with their mischevious smirks as they try to slip past the pastor with a football stuffed in their coat.

I love it when someone who has been sick, or gone on vacation returns. I love to see them, and I love to watch others greet them. I love to see my pastor's wife slip in a little late because she has spent extra time preparing her Sunday School room. I love one particular little boy who tries to sneak up on me and surprise me.

I love the music. Oh, how I love the music. All of it, from the hymns I've sang since childhood to the most contempory worship song. I love a good beat or something sang a capella. I love to take a moment during the occassional song to stop my own voice and just let my heart drink in the voices of the congregation. I also like to just read the words and say them in my mind to the Lord. I also like to raise my hand in praise. (This is new for me, but it feels great to let the Spirit move and not quench the Spirit.)

I love the Word. I love to hear about my Lord. I love to learn more about Him. I love how, as Gary said this morning, it all points to HIM.

I love coming home and slipping into my pjs. Sometimes I take a nap, sometimes I get on the computer and just be lazy all day. I love being able to not have to do anything. Then, I love to get ready and go back to the Lord's house.

I love that my church family sees my parents for the wonderful, God-fearing, faithful servants that they are. I love when my Dad is called on to pray, or someone tells me how encouraging my Mom is. I love when my husband is asked for, even though they know he is probably at work but miss him all the same. I love to have my boy with me. I love to look over in the pew and see him singing along. I love to see him anxiously grab his Bible to go to Children's Church.

I love Sunday. I love it for all of these things and more. But, I mainly love Sunday, because of You, Lord. If it weren't for You, Sunday would be just another day. I'm glad it's not.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy New Year!

I quit making New Year's Resoultions a long, long time ago. Actually, I don't know that I ever made them??? But, here are some things that I would like to strive for this year:

Do all things without murmurings and disputings:
Philippians 2:14

Rejoice evermore.
Pray without ceasing.
In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness;
Matthew 6:33a

But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven,
Matthew 6:20a

Judge not, that ye be not judged.
Matthew 7:1

Let you light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
Matthew 5:16

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them that despitefully use you, and persecute you;
Matthew 5:44

Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.
Galations 5:1

Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
Galations 6:2

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
Ephesians 4:32

And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;
Colossians 3:23

Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
Philippians 4:4&6

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
Ephesians 6:10-11

These are only some of the things I hope and pray that I may be able to do this year. Of course, it would be better for me to strive to do them on a daily basis, not a year-by-year basis. I just hope that I will be used of the Lord. I pray that I can be a willing and faithful servant. Oh, Lord, how I want to grow in you and learn of you! I pray Father that I would live in Your will and be ever-seeking of Your will alone. Not my will, but thine, Oh Lord. I pray that I can put myself aside and serve You, live for You, and make a difference for You. You alone are worthy.

2009 has been a year like any other. I guess. Some things that happened......George and I went on vacation for the first time since our honeymoon. I felt the call of the Lord on my life to truly be a servant for him. I participated in the Ladies' Bible Study at church, and I really enjoyed it. I redid my small bath, and I am currently re-doing my kitchen. We got cell phones. I started this blog, and I got more involved in facebook. Hmm......that's about it.

Happy New Year!