Really, I would only consider myself a part-time mom. Every other weekend I put the mom hat on, and I wear it ragged. The outfits I choose to wear that weekend purposely match the hat itself. I don't have to make the hat match the outfit. As fitting to my personality, I go all or nothing. This hat does not just cover my head, but it's rain proof and shields me from the sun all at the same time. I go full force. But Monday morning, I can barely get out of bed, and typically I don't schedule anything very serious or important for the Monday's following a "Chase-weekend." As far as actual work goes, there aren't too many additional chores with a third occupant in the home. Really, it is so much of a pleasure that any additional work doesn't seem to be of any significance. George says it's just that I push myself so hard mentally that's why I'm exhausted.
Why? Why do I push myself so hard? Why do I rethink things? Why do I keep the prayer lines hot those 48 hours? Why do I question myself? Why do I obsess over oxi-clean, french toast and video games? And, why on earth do I get up at 5am both Saturday and Sunday?
Sure, there is a part of me that doesn't want to give the ex anything to talk about. I want to cover all the bases and tie up any loose ends. There's also that glitch in my personality that pushes me to obsess over any task that is set before me. But then there's that desire. There's the desire to be a mom, and make the most of the opportunity set before me during those short 48 hours that God blesses me with a boy. As Beth Moore would say, "a man-child." I want to drink it up. I want to savor every opportunity to wash those little tighty-whities, buy bubble gum flavored toothpaste, and play "I Spy" while we drive to church. Those tighty-whities are not near as small as they were 8 years ago. They are no longer adorned with Scooby-Doo or Sponge Bob. They are now purchased in the same section of the store as Daddy's, along with shirts and jeans-albeit small, but still in the men's section.
Above all, I want to cherish this blessing that God has so graciously given. I don't know if the Lord has children in store for my womb, but I have a precious boy who needs me if only on occasion. This is my purpose, and I have know that since meeting my husband. My reason for being here is wrapped up in a now 5' +, 100+lb, blond-haired, blue-eyed (now with contacts) good-humored, kind-hearted pre-teen. If I can be anywhere close to the mom that I am blessed to have, I will feel that I have done right by him.
I have a lot to live up to though. I have the greatest mom. I knew growing up that she was a wonderful mother, and I have always been thankful for her, but now I really get it. She is awesome! The 31st chapter of Proverbs describes the ideal woman. Every time I read that chapter, I feel as though I am reading a description of my mom.
My Dad had surgery yesterday. My mom, with grace and determination stayed right there the entire time. Honestly, it feels weird to make that statement, because I know her. I know there's no where else she would be. But, I realize some people do not have the grit and the heart of service, loyalty and love that God put in my momma. We were surprised to learn that my dad was going to have to be put in SICU following his surgery. Naturally-for my mom-she already knew she was staying. I think if my mom had to sleep standing against the wall in the hallway outside SICU, she'd just shrug her shoulders and say, "I'll be fine."
My mom can so easily put herself aside and be ready and willing to do whatever is needed of her by her loved one. She is a true servant of the Lord, and His love comes through her in her care of others. I have never known someone so selfless and loving. I appreciate her so much. I am thankful to have her as my friend. I am so honored to have her as a role model. She is a wonderful follower of Jesus Christ, a loving, submissive, protective wife, and a total rock star as a mom. And, to 3 cats, one dog and the aforementioned pre-teen, she is the epitome of a
Gran-maw.
I love you Mom! I am so thankful for you and I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day!
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.....Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
Proverbs 31: 10-12 & 25-30
