Nearly two weeks ago, I had my second exploratory laparotomy. This one seems to be more successful than the last, as far as recovery goes, with one minor exception. I do have a bacterial infection, most likely from having to use a cath. The infection has caused low grade temps, lead to dehydration, passing out in the shower and a variety of tests. BUT, God is good, all the same. I still believe that this recovery is much better than the last. I thank the Lord for that.
Of course, given the above statements, it probably doesn't seem to be a better recovery, but I assure you it is. I have very minimal pain. very minimal. I can stand up straight. It took me forever it seemed to be able to do that last time. I have been out of the house.....hmmm.......4 times already. Last time, I stayed inside almost the entire 6 weeks. My nerves and peace of mind are incredibly different this time. I am not sleeping continually. Last time I could hardly hold my head up. And, best of all, I can sleep in my own bed! Praise the Lord! I think that is a vital part of recovery.
I can lay flat, I can lay on my side, I can pull my legs up, I could probably sleep on my stomach, but I don't like to. Thanks to my parents, I had a wedge pillow that allowed me to be in the bed the first week, when it was a little harder to actually lay flat. A good night's rest is so important, especially when your body has just been put through the ringer.
I am pretty much a "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade," type person. There is always something that we can be thankful for. Dehydration for example would be the lemons, the lemonade would be the chocolate milk and ice cream that I am encouraged...by my doc....to take in. Woohoo! Chocolate milk baby! For the nutrients, of course.
Another example, the lemon would be not being allowed to do anything, the lemonade would be reading, watching tv, being on the computer, and no guilt that your work is not getting done. (By you anyway.....my work is getting done.)
That leads us to another aspect of recovery.......family. Thank you, Lord for family. I have so many people that really care about me, and really want to know that I am ok. It surprises me, oh but how I appreciate it. It is hard for me to relinquish control, but my parents and my husband make it a lot easier for me. They are willing to do anything I need them to do. They care about me and that I am comfortable, stocked up on whatever I need, feed, and I would say clean, but since the episode in the shower, they seem to be leaning toward holding their noses as opposed to me showering. See what sacrifices they make!
I am telling you. I am so blessed. I really cannot begin to express how thankful I am for these three people who make me feel so loved, so cared for, so unburdensome (if that's a word?) It is nice to not feel like you are putting someone out. I hate that feeling. I never want to bother anyone or make them feel like I am using them, or anything to that affect. I want to do for others, not make others feel like they have to do for me.
And, by the way, thank God for laptops.
Now, don't get me wrong...there are soooooo, sooooo many people that have helped me. I have had cards, emails, calls, presents, prayers. I truly believe that these too are intricate aspects to a good recovery.....especially the prayers!
I really could attempt to write volumes on the love I have for my parents and husband, but I could not do justice to that knot that wells up in my throat every time they show their love. When my hubby lends a hand to help me off the couch, although he knows I can do it myself, and have to do it myself when no one is around. I love how my momma really wants to fix my lunch, and asks how I like it. Even though, I can do that myself too. I love how my daddy, after putting in a stressful day at work running the payroll, says, "no problem" when asked to pick up my prescription AND bring it back to me, before being able to go home. What I love most, is their sincerity. They are not doing this so they can tell their friends how helpful they are or so I will thank them. They do this because they are good people and because they love me. This is the love of Christ being demonstrated through them.
Many times throughout life, I didn't feel lovable because of my personality quirks. It got to the point where it didn't bother me if someone didn't want to be my friend, or boyfriend, I mean, why would they? I thought I was just to "me" to be able to expect too much from anyone. It still amazes me that George and Dad & Mom love me. I am not worthy of it. Oh boy! But I am so thankful for it. My cup runneth over!
Thanks! I love you all!