Lately, everything has felt different. Nothing feels the same. Sure there are things that I still feel secure in, but even those things are growing. They may be changing for the better, but it's still a change.
My Dad, who has never been sick, had two life-threatening surgeries this year. In January, he had a VERY infected gall bladder removed. If he would have waited any longer.......Well, let's just say we're all glad he didn't. Then, last month he had a cancerous tumor removed from his kidney. Yeah, the "C" word. We have all experienced devastation somewhere in our lives that was related to that worse-than-a-four-letter word.
No offense Mom and Dad, but I see you getting older. I don't like it. I want it to all stay the same. I want you to stay the way you are. I want to always be the one in need of you, and not the other way around. That doesn't mean that I don't thoroughly enjoy doing things for you, but you are my stability.
Chase just finished his first year of middle school. He is only a few inches shorter than me-today anyway-by next week he'll probably tower over me. That seems to be the rate at which he is changing. I can still remember the summer before George and I were married and taking that little knot-head to his first VBS. He is now too old for VBS. Riding in the car to church, he hadn't yet become a glasses wearer. Now he uses contacts. His voice is not that sweet, little singing voice that would belt out "Take Me Out to the Ball Game." Now his deep voice yells from the dug out, teasing the opposing team. I once pushed him in a cart and he would turn his baseball hat inside out and put it back on his head. Now he dances to the music played over the sound system as we walk down the aisles.
No longer do we sing along with the Veggie Tales as we drive to and fro. He is usually playing his DS while I listen to my ipod. He carries a cell phone, tells me how to use mine, and can text unbelievably fast. This morning at church, he helped take chairs out of the Sunday School room and stack them in the hallway. This past week when we were at the pool, I reminisced about taking him into the kids area. Now he is going down the slide with ease, and standing flat footed in the "deep" end.
Earlier in the week, the oldest member of our church, Mrs. Blanche Moore, passed away. Friday night, I looked out my living room window and watched a cow give birth to a bull calf. Four years ago, I battled anxiety, panic attacks and agoraphobia. In two months, I will lead the women of my church in our Fall Bible study. My niece, who was 16 when George and I started dating, has been married a year already, and in November will give birth to what will probably be the cutest baby that ever drew a breath. (I say this because Brandy and her husband, Heath, are just the cutest people you've ever seen. And, they are both as tiny as you please!)
My nephew Charlie (Brandy's brother) and his wife Kayla just celebrated their 8th wedding anniversary. Kayla has been teaching for probably 5 years now. I remember going with her to set up her very first class room. A month or so ago, Charlie was ordained as a deacon. They have been trying for 6 years this month-same as me and George-to have a child.
My great-niece, Nikea, starts high school this fall, and will be turning 15 in September. In March, our nephew, Derrick, and his wife Shara gave birth to their 4th child, our 5th great-niece/nephew. In January 2010, their 2 month old son passed away, and the December a year prior ('08), Shara miscarried.
Last Sunday, our 18 year old nephew left for Parris Island. I'm sure I don't have to tell you what that means. Just 2, 2.5 weeks prior to that, he lost his grandfather. His mother, Victoria, spent years trying to have a relationship with her father, after he'd abandoned them when they were little. Now he is gone, and so is her baby. One to eternity, and one to the Marines. The irony.
One thing never changes. God. Thank God! Thank God that He doesn't change. I am thankful that we can grow in our relationships with God, but that He will stay right there, waiting for us to catch up. His laws do not change, although society's moral standards change daily. He will never leave us or forsake us. He is calm and still and in Him there is peace. He always works things together for the good.